EFF My Neighbor & My life

My day sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked. 

It started after work....with returning my jeans that did NOT fit, even though I had lost weight. WTF. 

So I went to Express, tried on about every pair of pants in the store...found some, then realized their sale was over and I couldn't get them for the same price. So I just returned what I had and left for two reasons: 

1) They were a size up, and I refused to pay full price for a size up. 
2) I didn't love them enough to spend $120 dollars on them.

Then I walked out of express, with some money, thinking okay - this isn't so bad, I didn't NEED jeans - and I just got my money back. 

Then I thought...wait, yeah I do need jeans...cause mine are uncomfortable...and my ass doesn't stay in them when I sit down...which sucks....

So, I walked down the aisle in Short Pump to American Eagle, I haven't tried their jeans on for years....but they were ALL marked down to $30. So I said "Fuck it" 

I went in, tried on probably 20 pairs of jeans and then decided to buy some, but HERE is what I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. 

Officially...I'm down 4lbs, however, I need to buy a size up! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? That math doesn't even make sense. 

I was so mad, but I figured a bigger number size looked better than the muffin top on my old jeans. So I bought 3 pairs in different cuts. In an effort to not have a stroke when I visit my closet, I'm getting rid of the smaller # size jeans. FML. 

I was so upset, all I wanted to do was eat a big mac. 

I didn't.  I went home.  To work on invitations, and forget about my horrible jeans trying on experience, I mean I was sweating in the waiting room trying those on, talk about out of shape. 

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. 

Then, it gets better. 

I get home, and go check my mail...AND...Chet is outside. He asks me what I'm doing? I said "Nothing, getting ready to go decompress and sit on my ass, why?" 

His response: "Are you still dieting?" 
Me: "Yup, I've lost 4lbs, slow and steady wins the race."
Him: "You'd lose weight if you started running, how old are you?" 
Me: "Old. Twenty-Eight." 
Him: "When I was your age I was running all around a neighborhood like this. I remember, I weighed myself and I was 250lbs, and I wasn't okay with it, so little by little I started running, I'd run/walk, and go further each day, and run a bit more than walking each day..and before I knew it I was running 3 miles a day straight, only took about a month, and in that time I got down to 170lbs. You could do that too." 
Me: "Running is for rich people"
Him: "You have a lot of excuses. Instead of going in the house and sitting on the sofa, you should go change and put your shorts and sneakers on and go for a run. It would take 15 minutes and you could go shower and have the rest of your afternoon." 
Me: "I have invitations to work on"
Him: "Bullshit, I don't care, this is your health, put yourself first." 
Me: "Ahh dammit" [I start walking away]
Him: "Wait! Get back here, I'm serious, go do it"
Me: "No, thanks!"
Him: "Seriously, if you listened to me you could probably drop another size in a month." 
Me: [Thinking, that'd be helpful considering I just bought a size up in jeans] "Ughhhh, fine." 
Him: "Okay, go!"

[I go into the house, put away the mail, pet Karma, thinking to myself, that guy is a turd....but he's right. So I go upstairs and change...15 minutes, I can do this.]

Josh comes home, "what are you doing?" 
Me: "Asshole Chet is making me run." 
Josh: "oh, have fun." 
Me: "Do you have headphones I can borrow, I left mine at work." 
Josh: "Tons"

Get's headphones hands them to me, I go outside. Chet is still there...watching me. 
He comes over. 

Him: "Okay, here is ALL I want you to do today, don't burn out...I want you to walk quickly, from here to the top of the hill, then run down, when you get to the stop sign I want you to walk to the car path across the street and go to the other street. When you reach the other sidewalk, turn around and run all the way back to the top of the hill....then when you get to the top, walk quickly, back to the house. Not even 10 minutes...and tomorrow we'll do the same route, but you'll run more. It's about a 1/2 mile. Once you can run that, we'll start run/walking a mile. We'll do this everyday for the month of September, rain or shine....and by October, you'll be running a whole mile or even more...and you'll feel great." 

Me: "UGHHHHHH" 

So I go, and I do it, and I am so out of shape it is SHAMEFUL. 

I come back...

Him: "Okay, go stretch and shower, see you tomorrow"

Me: "Aye Aye Captain [Mumbles "asshole" winded and under my breath]

I go inside, Josh is trying to find Gluten free beer to try for his new possible Gluten Allergy, I lay on the floor in the living room, trying not to die...

Decide, while I'm there I'll do 20 crunches...then another 20 crunches. 

Josh decides to go to Total Wine. I decide to go along so we can get dinner. 

We go, come home and decide to try Glory Days Gluten Free Menu - since we eat there alot we thought we'd try to find some options for when we go with you guys. 

I had a house salad, and 8 boneless wings and some celery. 

Got home, showered, ate a fruit chiller, and LITERALLY passed out within minutes on the sofa. 

I hate Chet. I am sore. I ran 0.2 miles...WTF.
#Fat Girl Problems. 

Weighed In this morning: 166.2 (I hate that Chet is right). 

Guess I gotta run everyday for the month of September, it's only a month Fuck it - Let's see what I got. 

I decided that if I was on the Hunger Games, I'd die in the first 10 minutes of the movie.